Hey, gorgeous, have you forgotten how much love you deserve?
“You are a useless whore. I have wanted to say that forever. Now excuse me, I have to go throw up my liver.”
Why is the tail end of a journey always the longest?
The most glorious exit line ever. RT @bardicstorm: @lokidae come pigtails, away!
No, YOU just froze gravy so it would still be good when you got back! HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!
So I 100% recommend brining your turkey. Holy god, it was so delicious and made one of the best gravies of my life.
Dear police officer I met today, you are very nice and extremely attractive. We should be friends. Thanks for not ticketing me!
Oh good. I have clearly woken up on the wrong side of the bed.
There is a couple in my financial class that comes off ad ridiculously snobby and stuck up. I kind of hate them s little.
Wine has no calories, right? #justlietome
I LOVE unexpected phone calls from college friends I’ve missed. :D
Oh goodie… I was wondering when this side effect would show up. God, I am tired of antibiotics.
I can finally move without whimpering today. So I move my amazingly heavy couch by myself so I can vacuum behind it. Alone. I’m an idiot.
My throat is ridiculous sore and I’m in pain every time I swallow. The size of the pill they give me to fix it? Ginormous. Awesome.
Watching Hoarders and cleaning the house. Coincidence? Uhhh… totally.
I really wish I had Silent Hill right now