I have a flat tire. Made more amazing by the fact that I’m too goddamn weak to loosen the nuts.
Fun Fact: I am OBSESSED with tortoises and the idea of having one. This has only occurred in the past year.
So it’s a new day, right? I’m so ready for a new day.
Holy crap, @MFAMama is right! @EyeBuyDirect.com has really nice, REALLY cheap glasses! I can’t decide which frames I like best…
And to be honest? I’m seriously depressed this person doesn’t exist in my life.
Oh, hello, streaming episodes of Archer. I believe I found my evening’s plans.
It always concerns me when the hallway outside my office smells like pee.
I just put vegetables in literally every part of my dinner. Have… have I been replaced by an alien? Can this alien actually like exercise?
“I pooped in that dumpster! That makes it mine!”
I have a new favorite romance photo. Found on @superalzy’s wonderful blog. http://t.co/QC26Dcz
Stop being a coward. Speak the words you need to say to the person you need to say them too. #talkingtomyself
Had a very realistic dream that Tanner died. Woke up to find Tanner didn’t seem to be breathing. Freaked. Totally ruined his beauty rest.
I just got another package that made me tear up. Love you @aboho
Something reeks in the house. Not okay.